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Funny Valentines
   Topps - 1959

Notes:  These cards feature artwork by Jack Davis. They proved so popular that Topps 
issued a second set in the following year, also of 66 cards, but the card numbers for that 
release all have an "A" appended to them. The set listed below is sometimes called
"Funny Valentines First" to distinguish it from "Funny Valentines A." Versions were 
also manufactured under license by Scanlens in Australia and A & BC in England.  
Thanks much to Bob Hall for the checklist! American Card Catalog reference is R708-2A. 
Scans are posted at the Vintage Non-Sports Cards gallery.

No.   Setup (Card Fronts)                               Punch Line (Card Backs)

  1   I need you                                        like a hole in the head
  2   Don't go away mad, Dear                           just go away
  3   You remind me of a movie star                     Frankenstein
  4   I can't stop chasing you                          ya dirty rat
  5   Stay just as you are                              ugly, mean, cheap, stupid
  6   Since I've known you, Dear                        you've made my life a wreck
  7   I love ya so much                                 & there's so much of ya to love
  8   You have everything a man wants                   a mustache, a beard, muscles
  9   Your teeth are like stars                         they come out at night
 10   I've found the perfect valentine gift for you     arsenic
 11   Your name will be with me forever                 "Zelda"
 12   You ought to be in pictures                       horror pictures
 13   You oughta enter the Miss America contest         you'd lose your citizenship
 14   I remember the first time I saw you               I was sick for a week
 15   You're real smooth                                real smooth
 16   I love your two beautiful eyes                    & the third 1, too
 17   You're the apple of my eye                        ya worm
 18   I love you because you're different               ugh, so different
 19   You look like a million bucks                     green & wrinkled
 20   No wonder we like each other                      Who else could stand us?
 21   I love the way your hair grows down your back     Too bad it doesn't grow on your head
 22   There's a word for you                            echhh
 23   I love your little hands, your little feet        & your little mustache
 24   You're a doll                                     a croca-doll
 25   I'd like to bring you home to Mother              she deserves a good laugh
 26   You're the girl of my dreams                      you nightmare
 27   There will never be another you                   thank goodness
 28   I don't know what I'd do without you              but I'd like to try
 29   I think of you                                    when I'm in the dumps
 30   To the prettiest girl in the world                Give this card to your sister
 31   You're the cave man type                          hairy & ugly
 32   I've got my eye on you                            see
 33   You're a charmer                                  a snake charmer
 34   Roses are red, violets are blue                   A head like yours belongs in a zoo
 35   I dig you                                         the most
 36   You're the strong silent type                     ya monster
 37   Say the words that will make me the happiest
        boy in the world                                "I'm leaving"
 38   You're just what the doctor ordered               ya pill
 39   There's something about you I like                your money
 40   Why can't you love me?                            My mother does
 41   It is better to have loved you & lost             much better
 42   There's a word for you                            slob
 43   If you were the only girl in the world            you'd still have trouble
 44   Some Valentine Day advice                         Get lost
 45   You're so friendly, so gentle, so kind            so's my dog
 46   You may not be smart, Dear                        As a matter of fact you're stupid
 47   You've got everything                             cross-eyes & bowlegs
 48   You've got something no other girl has            me
 49   I love you                                        but I've got horrible taste
 50   I think you're the most beautiful girl in         
        the world                                       & so do you
 51   I miss you                                        but I'll get ya the next time
 52   A girl like you is hard to find                   thank goodness
 53   I've got a crush on you                           -
 54   Won't you come over for dinner?                   We'd love to have ya
 55   You have a wonderful personality                  but not for a human being
 56   Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest
        one of all?                                     Not you
 57   I'll never forget you, Dear                       Who could?
 58   Looks aren't everything, Dear                     In your case, they're nothing
 59   You take the prize                                you dog
 60   We'll be sweethearts to the end                   This is the end
 61   Don't think it hasn't been pleasant to meet you   because it wasn't
 62   You're just like a beautiful flower               You're surrounded by dirt
 63   You've got something no other girl has            a 12-inch mustache
 64   Darling, You have just what it takes to get
        into the movies                                 90 cents
 65   I picked this card because it fits you            Isn't it stupid?
 66   We both got together to send you this valentine   because it's cheaper this way

Searchwords: jahoc, yr1959, mfrTopps, catNovelty 
©2002, 2016 Jeff Allender. Comments, updates, & corrections are welcomed!

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