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Giant Size Funny Valentines Topps - 1961
Notes: These cards feature artwork by Jack Davis, are approximately 2-1/2" x 4-3/4", and have orange backs; the collector reference number for this set is R708-6. A different version with orange/red backs (also 55 cards) was produced in the late 1960s, and also a "printed in Canada" set with full-red backs. Thanks much to Bob Hall for the original checklist and to Chris Silvestri for the updates!
No. Setup (Card Front) Punch Line (Card Back) 1 To Mom on Valentine Day, All year round you work your fingers to the bone & what do you get? Boney Fingers! 2 Dear Valentine, I want you to accept the check on the other side 3 Have you ever thought of getting married to me? well, don't 4 I've never met anyone like you except in the zoo 5 A good man is hard to find so I'll settle for you 6 I picked up a real nice gift for you but the cops made me put it back 7 Valentine to my teacher, I think you're wonderful But You Know How Stupid I Am! 8 With a friend like you who needs enemies? 9 A valentine to my teacher, You made me what I am today Thanks A Lot!!! 10 You're just what the doctor ordered Shock Treatment! 11 How does it feel to know you're wanted? By The Police! 12 To a dad who has given me everything My Crossed Eyes, My Pointed Head, My Floppy Ears. 13 I'd like to invite you to dinner But My Mother Hates Slobs! 14 Today is your day, Mom but tomorrow watch out 15 You're invited to a masquerade party But You Don't Need A Mask! 16 I just said the word that describes you And my mother washed my mouth with soap! 17 Invitation: If you have no date on Saturday night try bathing 18 I couldn't let this Valentine Day go by without buying something So I Bought Myself A Hat!!! 19 You give me a feeling no one else does a splitting headache 20 I thought of something funny the other day! 21 I'm glad you're out of bed & on the operating table 22 Dear Valentine, They say 2 heads are better than 1 but not on the same body 23 To my valentine, You have so many wonderful points a pointy head, pointy nose, pointy teeth 24 It isn't the words that count It's the sentiment 25 Thank you for the unusual valentine gift What is it? 26 Invitation: We're having a beach party by the lake Why don't you drop in? 27 To my valentine. You're lovely as a rainbow with your green teeth, blue face, yellow ears & purple nose 28 I love your beautiful blond curls but they'd look better on a girl 29 When I think of you I think of music 'cause you got legs like a piano 30 You are invited to a surprise party Boy, will you be surprised 31 You are my sunshine Ya burn me up!!! 32 Don't Worry You'll Be Out Of The Hospital In No Time. see, I told you 33 You're invited to a wild valentine party at your house 34 To Mom, my favorite valentine, You've taken care of me when I was sick, cheered me up when I was sad, comforted me when I was in trouble but what have you done for me lately? 35 You're the world's greatest dad but I'm the world's greatest kid, so we're even 36 I hope you like my present as much as it likes you 37 When I See You, I Can Think Of Only One Thing To Do Run!!! 38 You've got the sweetest lips 'Cause you eat candy like a slob! 39 There's something about you that makes me swoon 40 Someday you will make 1 girl very happy when you're tossed in jail 41 Don't read the other side of this card until Valentine Day Whattsa Matter No Will Power? 42 A present for you on Valentine Day, Dad and here's the bill 43 You have a peach of a complexion fuzzy 44 I Like You Because (check boxes) If I Didn't Who Would? Next To You I Look Great! I'm Making A Study Of Morons! I Have No Taste! Your Father Has Money! I'm Paying Off An Election Debt! "Check Off Appropriate One" 45 Happy Valentine Day, Mom. We're Having A Big Dinner In Your Honor. So start cooking! 46 Success certainly hasn't changed you You're as stupid as ever 47 Dear Valentine, you may not be a beauty But You Are A Novelty! 48 Tonight I'd like to pick you up at your house with the rest of the garbage 49 You're Just The Type To Wear My School Ring Through Your Nose! 50 I can't forget the day I met you 51 I'm going to pick out a little gift for you (Shows man digging through the City Dump) 52 A Valentine For My Teacher. You Have Beauty And Brains So how'd you get mixed up in a racket like this? 53 I get a thrill when I watch you play football You're better than most boys 54 You really deserve a better kid than me & I deserve a better dad than you 55 I'll always care for you when you're in the nut house©2002, 2004, 2005 Jeff Allender. Comments, updates, & corrections are welcomed!