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You'll Die Laughing Series 1
   Topps - 1973
   O-Pee-Chee - 1973

Notes: Some sources consider Series 1 and Series 2 to be a single 128-card set, but they were packaged 
and distributed separately. Variations of cards 1-33 were issued separately in bread packages, and most 
of the cards are seen with both matte and glossy finished. Packs were identified with the large title 
"Creature Feature," but most collectors identify the set from the large "You'll Die Laughing" that appears 
on the cards. The U.S. edition was printed with "*" next to the copyright notice for Series 1 and "**" 
was used with Series 2.

The Canadian version by O-Pee-Chee gives captions in both English and French. I show the French 
text when I know it, and would be delighted to have somebody fill in the gaps. Another version by 
A&BC in the U.K. uses images from both Series 1 and Series 2 but often changes the captions. 
Thanks much to LMA for the original list and to Albert Joseph and Richard Law Orloski for updates!

No.   Caption (English, Topps and O-Pee-Chee)                           Caption (French, O-Pee-Chee)

  1   Would somebody tell me a scary story?                             Would someone tell me a scary story? - Pouvez-vous me raconter une histoire "epeurante"?
  2   Please... Not on our first date!                                  Mais Monsieur ... Je vous connais a peine!
  3   The laundry man is here for the sheets, Dear!                     Le buandier vient chercher les draps!
  4   I think my deodorant failed!                                      Je crois que mon desodorisant n'est pas efficace!
  5   That's the most ridiculous face I ever saw!                       C'est le visage le plus ridicule que ja'aie jamais vu!
  6   This terrible haircut just ruins my good looks.                   C'est cette mauvaise coupe de cheveux qui ruine mon apparence.
  7   I warn you, Frankie, smoking will stunt your growth.              Je t'avertis, Frankie, que la cigarette va t'empecher de grandir.
  8   And we'll put the new chair in that corner!                       Et nous mettrons la chaise neuve dans ce coin-la!
  9   Lullaby and Good Night!                                           Fais dodo et bonne nuit!
 10   O.K. O.K. You pitch and I'll play right field.                    Tres bien, tu peux lancer et je jouerai au champ droit.
 11   My boy, I don't think you're cut out for Medical School!          Mon garcon, la dedecine, ce n'est pas ta branche!
 12   I take it you didn't like the meal, Sir!                          Le repas n'etait pas a votre gout, Monsieur!
 13   If it comes with two pair of pants, I'll take it.                 Si c'est un complet a deux pantalons, je le prends.
 14   All right... Bring back the lighter for a refund!                 Tres bien ... rapportez le briquet et nous vous rembourserons!
 15   And your secretary told me you weren't in!                        Et votre secretaire m'a dit que vous etre absent!
 16   If you don't like this carpet I'll show you something in red.     Si vous n'aimez pas ce tapis-ci, je vais vous en montre en rouge.
 17   Watch out for that mole on the back of my neck!                   N'accrochez pas la verue que j'ai sur la nuque!
 18   And Papa Bear said "Somebody ate my porridge, too!"               Et le Papa Ours dit "Quelqu'un aussi a mange mon gruau!
 19   No sleeping in a public park, Lady!                               Il est defendu de dormir dans le parc, Madame!
 20   I see a tall, dark stranger in your future!                       Vous rencontrerez bientot un beau grand brun!
 21   Could you direct me to the Olympic Stadium, Sir?                  Pourriez-vous me dire ou est le Stade Olympique?
 22   But I used a mouthwash this morning!                              Mais j'ai utilise un rince-bouche ce matin!
 23   Maybe it was a mistake to keep you after school!                  Je n'aurais peut-etre pas du vous retenir apres la classe!
 24   Oh Darling, you've cut yourself shaving again!                    Pauvre cheri, tu t'es encore coupe en te rasant!
 25   One - Two - Cha-Cha-Cha!                                          Un - Deux - Trois ... Cha-Cha-Cha!
 26   You're not going to that Women's Lib meeting and that's final!    Tu n'iras pas a cette reunion de feministes, un point, c'est tout!
 27   Okay, okay, you can have the car tonight!                         Tres bien, tres bien, tu peux te servir de l'auto ce soir!
 28   I wish she'd stop falling asleep in front of the T.V.!            J'aimerais bien qu'elle arrete de s'endormir devant la T.V.!
 29   Pssst! Wanna buy a good watch?                                    Pssst! Veux-tu acheter une bonne montre?
 30   Gee Kid, you weigh a ton!                                         Tu pèses une tonne, ma petite!
 31   What do you mean my mother has a mustache?                        Repete donc que ma mere a une moustache!
 32   I guess it's time to give up those reducing pills!                Je devrais arreter de prendre mes pillules pour maigrir!
 33   My girdle is killing me!                                          Ma gaine est trop serree!
 34   Who took my Right Guard?                                          Qui s'est servi de mon antisudorifique?
 35   I wonder if she noticed my dandruff?                              Je me demande si elle a remarque mes pellicules?
 36   Wait till they find out I'm the new baby sitter!                  Attendez qu'ils decouvrent que je viens garder les enfants!
 37   Who says I'm too young to shave?                                  Pensez-vous que je suis trop jeune pour me raser?
 38   One more acupuncture treatment and you'll be a new man!           Un autre traitement d'acupuncture et vous ne sentirez plus votre mal!
 39   Who fooled around with my butane lighter?                         Qui a joue avec mon briquet au butane?
 40   Watch it Lady! I'm the store detective!                           Attention, madame! Je suis le detective du magasin!
 41   .... O Solo Mio .....                                             .... O Solo Mio .....
 42   Look Dad, no cavities!                                            Regarde Papa, tu devrais employer mon dentifrice!
 43   Ho hum ... must have overslept!                                   J'ai probablement dormi trop longtemps!
 44   Can you spare $50 for a face-lift?                                J'aurais besoin de $50 pour une remontée du visage!
 45   Ring around the collar! Ring around the collar!                   Vous avez un cou dodu et bien appétissant!
 46   Yoo-hoo .... Ice Cream Man!                                       Une minute ... Je veux un cornet de crème glacée!
 47   I'm sure my ball rolled under this car!                           Je suis sur que mon ballon a roule sous cette voiture!
 48   Boy , they've sure got some ugly girls in this neighborhood!      Il'y a des filles vraiment laides dans ce quartier!
 49   Will someone turn the thermostat down?                            Ajustez le thermostat ... on creve ici!
 50   My sinuses have been acting up again!                             Ma sinusite me donne du trouble!
 51   If you want anything, just scream!                                Si tu veux quelque chose, crie!
 52   Come on in! The water's fine!                                     Sauce-toi! L'eau est bonne!
 53   I can't understand why girls don't like me!                       Je ne comprends pas pourquoi je ne plais pas aux filles!
 54   What do you mean I'm not your type, Susan?                        Pourquoi ne suis je pas ton genre, Suzanne?
 55   O.K. Buddy, let's see your driver's license!                      Maintenant, montre-moi ton permis de conduire!
 56   How's the skin treatment going, darling?                          Tu devrais consulter un dermatologiste, mon cheri!
 57   The doctor says it's poison ivy!                                  Le medecin dit que c'est de l'herbe a la puce!
 58   Last one in the water is a rotten egg!                            Le dernier dans l'eu est un peureux!
 59   Chocolates just ruin my complexion!                               Le chocolat me donne des boutons!
 60   My nose is itchy!                                                 Le nez me pique!
 61   Wait till I get my hands on that travel agent!                    Attendez que j'attrape cet agent de voyages!
 62   Wake up Miss, we've rented your room!                             Reveillez-vous, Mademoiselle, nos avons loue votre chambre!

--    (132-card uncut sheet; O-Pee-Chee)


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